Today as I sit here staring at the light candle thinking a lot about what it means to have suffered a miscarriage. I started listening to the song "Dancing in the sky". I have always been open about my miscarriages in the past. I have had 3 from my first relationship and I hurt so much physically, mentally, and emotionally. I struggled with horrible depression and hate for my children's father, cause he wasn't there when I felt I needed him. He was gone with someone else cheating on me while I was home suffering in silence and reeling from the pain. I dealt with that quietly. Now we faced it again last September and this time was so much different. I wasn't alone, I wasn't dealing with things on my own, my husband was by my side the whole time. He held me as I cried so hard and wailed from the sheer pain of what was happening. He was my rock as my stomach hurt so badly I knew what was going on and felt like I wanted to go and curl up in a ball and die. He sat with me as I sat in the bathroom as I wondered when the pain would end and saying your so strong and I love you. He held me all night long as I cried again and helped me get up each day for the next week when I didn't want to move I just wanted to sleep and wallow. Tonight as I sit here and think about things a lot of memories and pain come back and as I write these tears run down my eyes. I know though one day I will see all of them again and I will embrace the love we have for each other.
This song makes me cry too
I hope you're dancing in the sky
And I hope you're singing in the angels' choir
And I hope the angels know what they have
I'll bet it's so nice up in heaven since you've arrived
And I hope you're singing in the angels' choir
And I hope the angels know what they have
I'll bet it's so nice up in heaven since you've arrived
Today is October 15th, I light my candle with other mothers and fathers who have lost there baby and children too soon.
I am 1in4 who have suffered a miscarriage.
